One bite at a time. A cliché, perhaps? But the truth is, my friends…….the journey of a thousand miles, really does begin with the first step. Of course you need time to understand just what kind of freight train you’ve been struck by. And of course you need time to be angry, sad, hurt, tearful, alone, scared etc.
We all have to go through these emotions (and probably even more than what I’ve listed here). We stand to lose so much at this very point in our lives. The loss I’m talking about, is stuff like : our homes, our kids, our businesses possibly, our family unit as we knew it, our circle of friends, our pride, our confidence, our self respect, our husband’ness and / or our Dad’ness. The security of all that surrounds us – and the very thing that gets us up every morning. Working, sacrificing, providing etc….all becomes a very wobbly grey area suddenly.
This is a very tough part to get beyond. There is no right or wrong length of time here. Take the time you need, and sooner or later, a tiny spark…. that comes from such a deep down place in your heart and soul…..will begin to flicker and glow (ever so dimly). And the more you feed it, the brighter it will become. Eventually, you will regain the fire in your belly that you’ve been missing for so long. You will encounter many bumps along your road, and you will have many obstacles to overcome…….but you will be able to handle it…..one bite at a time.
Think of your journey like this. If you have to drive your car 100 miles……at night….you obviously can’t see the whole road of 100 miles ahead of you, can you? But….your lights will shine a path of about a quarter of a mile up ahead, not so? That’s do-able. Of course we can drive a quarter of a mile with our lights shining the way for us. And as we go further down the road – our lights will shine another quarter of a mile….and so on and so on and so on….and before you know it, you are well on your way into your journey. One bite at a time.
The first actual practical thing I’d like you to do is this. I’d like you to just sit down for 2 minutes. Take up a pen / pencil and a piece of paper / notebook. I want you to write down 10 things that you are grateful for in your life right now. Just do it, trust me. They don’t have to be very profound things….just very easy, simple things, that you are thankful for. Here’s an example for you..
“I am very thankful for : my health, my sight and hearing, my hot shower, my reliable car, my friends / brothers and sisters, my comfortable bed, the food in my cupboard and fridge, the fact that I’m actually alive, the lovely flowers and trees in the garden etc etc”
Try to do this little gratitude list each day. If you can’t – then just read yesterdays one. But take that 1 tiny step each day. We have to get some “go-forward” momentum, no matter how tiny. If you do this for a couple of days – it’s just impossible not to feel better.
First step, my friends – make a conscious decision to take just 1 tiny, baby step each day. Yes, you will still feel pain and you will still hurt. But this one small action, in the right direction, will give you some much needed hope. And where there is HOPE – we can make miracles. One bite at a time.
I’ll leave you with this, my brothers….(something to think about)….If you ever go past a graveyard, have a look at all the crosses and tombstones lined up. I can bet you….that with all the problems you have in your life right now……any one, and every one, of those deceased people…will very gladly change places with you – if they could.
Let’s change the world, my friends, one bite at a time.
Your friend, Julian